Day 7

It's too hot to paint outside in Tucson this time of year.  So this morning I set up my plein air easel in the living room & painted a pot of flowering lantana I could see from a window.  I'm pleased with this for a few reasons - a big one being that since I've changed my medication protocol, I can think more clearly in the mornings.  A bigger reason - I didn't feel the need to scrape it off.

There are many types of artists out there & everyone of them has to figure out what "success" means individually.  Before my tumor, I was very happy with the success I had achieved.  I hadn't yet reached a point with my painting where I wanted to be but I thought I could if I continued to work at it.  I had been invited to participate in an exciting invitational exhibition, I was getting accepted into some of the prestigious shows I was applying to & I was doing commissions.  I still wasn't selling a lot & I was getting just as many rejections as acceptances but I could call myself a professional artist.

While going through my slump, I've had to redefine what I thought of as success.  Success for me has nothing to do with shows & sales.  It has everything to do with whether or not I like what I'm producing.... being able to paint something & say "look what I can do".  The rejections that I've gotten during the last couple of years were followed by relief because I didn't really like the paintings anyway.  Technically speaking, my execution was okay & other people would say they liked them but there was always something I didn't like.

I like this one.  I see a few things wrong with it but I'd rather not say what they are.  But after 7 days - 3 keeps, 3 wipe offs, & 1 day off to go swimming with the grand kids - I think I'll keep going for now.

Thank you for your time & Have a great day :)